Ever since the last post, I have spent the time experiencing different things. Issues, situations, emotions, feelings and sun burn on partial body... A fruitful time I might say, even though not all are nice and sweet.
U-Bash! As how they named this event, its basically the 'whole' unit get together during this time to know more about one another, have fun and build further relationships between one another. Its one of the days when I really enjoyed alot. Never have I felt such powerful 'family'-oriented bondship besides my own family, my relationship with my neighbours in the past and my close buddies. This event gave me alot of meaning and made me felt truely ALIVE. It also somewhat gave me an insight of what Heaven would be like when I finally finish my time here on Earth.
Continuing looking for work! As I have still not got a successful job, I was doing what I can to set plans for my goals. Teaching is what I want, but there is one time where I lost sight of this goal. It made me think alot and and consider alternatives like getting a job in other sectors. However the most important thing at that time is due to the odd occurance of FORGETTING my goal, I have very nearly compromised my whole plan as I was very concerned about financial issues and my mother, mostly. My mother has hinted to me she wanted to retire from working and rest at home. That had me re-considering the whole plan I had and I had a good talk with a few brothers about this. I was still unsure if this was the correct route I should go as I know God paved this road for me but I put my faith in Him and trusted Him.
Sports Meet! The event was announced to the whole sub-D a few weeks before and we have only a month to set up everything for the event. It falls in the period of the Chinese new year, so basically we ran short on time. However I learnt alot of things in this event. I knew more brothers and sisters closer than before and I felt a real tangible sense of belonging (What I see in Heaven that is). Its so great and so immense, that I do not want to lose sight, hearing, touch, feel, smell and sense of it.
The event itself was even greater, even when the games were not exactly going to plan, the basic objective was met and with rather great effect: that is fun. A few short hours to me was like many years of friendship and relationship being fostered in that space of time. I got closer to everyone in the sub-D (even those who were not there that day were included) and this was one of those what God has promised me when I first received Christ. Call me selfish, but that is what I can see and feel: how I can be so sure I am fostering better relationship with them is because there is Christ in their hearts and souls just as mine and it is He who is at work to bind us closer every moment. I don't mind getting 'baked' if I can build up more and better relationships with the people around me.
Courtship! On sunday, Hua Qiang and Sarah announced their official courtship. It was a joyous occasion for us and with many reasons. They are the 'pioneer' couple in our sub-D (This gives hope to many of our brothers), once again God is the match-maker (Amen!) and I don't really know why, but I just generally felt great joy for them. I don't really feel any envy or jealousy, just a broad grin whole day long. =D
Prayer and fasting! This is something I am still working on. I have been in it for 2 weeks, and many times I did not pray that much while I fast, or after the fasting period. Neither did I read much of the Bible too. Something I must change indeed. Still this period made me think through alot of things, all illustrated above and somehow my relationship with God grew stronger even if its a little bit.
There are still so many things I have yet to do. I am working towards it as I am typing and someday I will see it all come to fruition. No matter what happens, I know I am walking besides Jesus towards the end goal of my life. ^_^
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Reflection
Looking back at 2006, it was a year of two opposites.
One: my life was a complete wreck. Wreck in a sense that I really have no idea what I want. I get disappointed easily and laziness crept into me like an earth worm back into the soil. I was not motivated to do what was urgent and important to me. I was lost.
Two: I met Jesus. He introduced me to God. I confessed my sins, asked for forgiveness and put my life into his hands. I had a new life, things started to unfold right infront of me. I have new friends, I had a job. My life was back in track, but most of all, I found a purpose. That is to live a life of a Christian.
I thought I was living a great life. That was until I quit my last job in search of a profession into the social work and counselling. I somehow felt I was slowly but gradually creeping back into the situation where I was before I met Him. Wreck... complete wreck. I do not want that... AGAIN.
Unfortunately it did happened, I was "slacking" at home for much of the period. I was trying to figure out why am I back in this situation? A trial given by God? Am I to face what I fear and overcome it? Didn't I gone through this before and "conquer" it? I thought so but apparently no.
I had a hard time dealing with this and the people around me can see it. The situation was further aggravated by the issue my mum had with my dad. Possibly because of the stress they both are facing, but they had a hard time trying to figure each other out.
I told this to a few of the people close to me and I got some feedback:
1: Lack of motivation. Its the most obvious thing since I mentioned it firsthand to them. I found it hard to get things going from the starting point. Get me into the race and I can finish it definately, but I do not know how to get into the race on my own.
2: Sliding away from God, Christ and the Holy Spirit. I read less and less of the bible after I quit my work. It seemed to have quite a big impact on me, really. I remember from this passage "John 4:14 - whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.", how true is that. When I read the bible, I learnt so many things and I get some kind of "refilling" (Its actually from the Holy Spirit) everytime to face the outside world and everything. When I stopped reading for a prolonged period, I felt drained.
3: Goals in my life. I am a perfectionist. What I see in the "end product" is very beautiful and very near perfect from my point of view, BUT to get there is another matter. A small blemish along the way and I may have to scrap the whole thing. I may have also set my goals too far. SO far that it seemed my "energy" was not enough to sustain me all the way to there, thus the implementation of short and middle term goals.
Come to think of it, I really am stuck in this point of my life. I was down and could hardly make a joke. Even last sunday's praise and worship, which is a time for me to do my praise and worshipping to God, was a passing moment to me. I could not focus well and I failed God. I was miserable and negative. Strangely though, it was also during this point I think alot. Considering how much neural activity occured in my brain. XD
Some how I began to feel better. As I browse through the songs I am listening to while onboard the bus, I began playing some old songs I once listened to frequently. Waves of emotions swept through me as I listened to them one by one. Nostalgic as it seemed, it brought back a certain vibrant feeling and energy into me. I began to smile as I listened intently. These songs, dated back to 8 years or so, made me recall some past moments in my life. The last sermon was about putting the past behind and move forward.
I am still figuring out my life, but I am looking forward to the end of this rough patch and gaining much from it as I continue my road as a Christian. I won't be walking alone though... =D
One: my life was a complete wreck. Wreck in a sense that I really have no idea what I want. I get disappointed easily and laziness crept into me like an earth worm back into the soil. I was not motivated to do what was urgent and important to me. I was lost.
Two: I met Jesus. He introduced me to God. I confessed my sins, asked for forgiveness and put my life into his hands. I had a new life, things started to unfold right infront of me. I have new friends, I had a job. My life was back in track, but most of all, I found a purpose. That is to live a life of a Christian.
I thought I was living a great life. That was until I quit my last job in search of a profession into the social work and counselling. I somehow felt I was slowly but gradually creeping back into the situation where I was before I met Him. Wreck... complete wreck. I do not want that... AGAIN.
Unfortunately it did happened, I was "slacking" at home for much of the period. I was trying to figure out why am I back in this situation? A trial given by God? Am I to face what I fear and overcome it? Didn't I gone through this before and "conquer" it? I thought so but apparently no.
I had a hard time dealing with this and the people around me can see it. The situation was further aggravated by the issue my mum had with my dad. Possibly because of the stress they both are facing, but they had a hard time trying to figure each other out.
I told this to a few of the people close to me and I got some feedback:
1: Lack of motivation. Its the most obvious thing since I mentioned it firsthand to them. I found it hard to get things going from the starting point. Get me into the race and I can finish it definately, but I do not know how to get into the race on my own.
2: Sliding away from God, Christ and the Holy Spirit. I read less and less of the bible after I quit my work. It seemed to have quite a big impact on me, really. I remember from this passage "John 4:14 - whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.", how true is that. When I read the bible, I learnt so many things and I get some kind of "refilling" (Its actually from the Holy Spirit) everytime to face the outside world and everything. When I stopped reading for a prolonged period, I felt drained.
3: Goals in my life. I am a perfectionist. What I see in the "end product" is very beautiful and very near perfect from my point of view, BUT to get there is another matter. A small blemish along the way and I may have to scrap the whole thing. I may have also set my goals too far. SO far that it seemed my "energy" was not enough to sustain me all the way to there, thus the implementation of short and middle term goals.
Come to think of it, I really am stuck in this point of my life. I was down and could hardly make a joke. Even last sunday's praise and worship, which is a time for me to do my praise and worshipping to God, was a passing moment to me. I could not focus well and I failed God. I was miserable and negative. Strangely though, it was also during this point I think alot. Considering how much neural activity occured in my brain. XD
Some how I began to feel better. As I browse through the songs I am listening to while onboard the bus, I began playing some old songs I once listened to frequently. Waves of emotions swept through me as I listened to them one by one. Nostalgic as it seemed, it brought back a certain vibrant feeling and energy into me. I began to smile as I listened intently. These songs, dated back to 8 years or so, made me recall some past moments in my life. The last sermon was about putting the past behind and move forward.
I am still figuring out my life, but I am looking forward to the end of this rough patch and gaining much from it as I continue my road as a Christian. I won't be walking alone though... =D
Friday, December 29, 2006
Mr or Miss Right
Why there are many individuals who seem to find out something is wrong in their relationship with the person they date. Is there no way of telling who is the "one" for you? How many "dates" do you want to go through so you can find the "one"?
I have read many people's cases on "BGR turned sour" and most of them seem to think they are the "wrong" people they dated. They think they will never find the "correct" one or Mr/Miss Right. BUT how can you be sure who is your Mr/Miss Right?
There is no definate solution nor is there any fool proof plan of going about it. You learn through life itself and in your life you will go through a roller coaster ride with regards to finding your Mr/Miss Right.
Of course how many hearts are you willing to break OR how many times you want your heart to shatter to get there? If you already knew WHO IS your ideal mate, are you willing to resist temporary feelings and emotions in search of that ideal mate of yours? OR will you give in and just get one and enjoy the time together without really seriously considering are you two going for life?
Through the "wrong" people, you learn more about yourself and your traits and flaws. Slowly you will filter out many things and narrowing your search, finding the ideal person will be more clearer than ever before.
Nowadays we see many people get together in relationships in the heat of moment or passion. Very few rarely consider the consequences in relationships and the commitments involved. Its starting to get "stereotypical" that getting into a relationship between a guy and a girl ( in some cases guy and guy or girl and girl) is normal or hip and is in a way considered "experienced" or some other words.
There is NOTHING wrong in getting into a relationship. Just keep in mind what is it you looking for... OR RATHER what is it you can give to the other party and do know that you love him/her and that is why you give more than you receive. Then slowly you will know who is your Mr/Miss Right... Or left?
I have read many people's cases on "BGR turned sour" and most of them seem to think they are the "wrong" people they dated. They think they will never find the "correct" one or Mr/Miss Right. BUT how can you be sure who is your Mr/Miss Right?
There is no definate solution nor is there any fool proof plan of going about it. You learn through life itself and in your life you will go through a roller coaster ride with regards to finding your Mr/Miss Right.
Of course how many hearts are you willing to break OR how many times you want your heart to shatter to get there? If you already knew WHO IS your ideal mate, are you willing to resist temporary feelings and emotions in search of that ideal mate of yours? OR will you give in and just get one and enjoy the time together without really seriously considering are you two going for life?
Through the "wrong" people, you learn more about yourself and your traits and flaws. Slowly you will filter out many things and narrowing your search, finding the ideal person will be more clearer than ever before.
Nowadays we see many people get together in relationships in the heat of moment or passion. Very few rarely consider the consequences in relationships and the commitments involved. Its starting to get "stereotypical" that getting into a relationship between a guy and a girl ( in some cases guy and guy or girl and girl) is normal or hip and is in a way considered "experienced" or some other words.
There is NOTHING wrong in getting into a relationship. Just keep in mind what is it you looking for... OR RATHER what is it you can give to the other party and do know that you love him/her and that is why you give more than you receive. Then slowly you will know who is your Mr/Miss Right... Or left?
Friends
To make an aquaintance is so easy. To be a friend takes more time and effort. To be a TRUE friend, you have to know the person's basic personality or core foundation of what makes a person's character.
There are times when you want to hold that person so much, yet its only a moment of passion that makes you do so. There are times when you really want to go up to to that special someone and say, "I have feelings for you." But the two of you may not be prepared for it.
When you like someone, do you go up to that person and say, "Oei, pak tor ai mai?". Or do you wait and get to know that person more and see for yourself what that person is like and whether that person is suitable for you or not? When you finally get to know someone, only then it is too late to realise you could have made the wrong move in the first place.
Time and again, you will keep wondering what makes you so attracted to that person. Many of you may say, "Is there a reason to love?". True, not all the times we can find a reason for that, but have you actually thought what that person has that makes you so "head and heels" over that person? Could it be that person has a funny personality? Or does that person has a nice heart and caring towards others that makes your heart warm as well? Perhaps even that person has a direct, or blunt, approach to life that you wish you too could have that approach. Think about what makes you so attracted to this person.
There are cases when the time spent with a person is nothing compared to the QUALITY time spent with another person. I known a friend for many years, but due to a misunderstanding started indirectly by me, he said, "Can dun be frens wif me de...". I was shocked and heartbroken by HOW a person can say even the nastiest things in a fit of the moment. There are people I have known for a short time but we feel like close kins and even share many intimate things.
I do have regrets in life, but I can look at those regrets and smile, knowing I have learnt something from it and reinforcing me in a sense that the next time I make a decision, I will make sure I choose the one I want and have no regrets whatsoever.
You choose the type of company you want, you decide whether is it worth keeping going into it or ending it. No one can seduce your decision otherwise and no matter how good other people's words are to you, in the end you make the choice because it is your life.
There are times when you want to hold that person so much, yet its only a moment of passion that makes you do so. There are times when you really want to go up to to that special someone and say, "I have feelings for you." But the two of you may not be prepared for it.
When you like someone, do you go up to that person and say, "Oei, pak tor ai mai?". Or do you wait and get to know that person more and see for yourself what that person is like and whether that person is suitable for you or not? When you finally get to know someone, only then it is too late to realise you could have made the wrong move in the first place.
Time and again, you will keep wondering what makes you so attracted to that person. Many of you may say, "Is there a reason to love?". True, not all the times we can find a reason for that, but have you actually thought what that person has that makes you so "head and heels" over that person? Could it be that person has a funny personality? Or does that person has a nice heart and caring towards others that makes your heart warm as well? Perhaps even that person has a direct, or blunt, approach to life that you wish you too could have that approach. Think about what makes you so attracted to this person.
There are cases when the time spent with a person is nothing compared to the QUALITY time spent with another person. I known a friend for many years, but due to a misunderstanding started indirectly by me, he said, "Can dun be frens wif me de...". I was shocked and heartbroken by HOW a person can say even the nastiest things in a fit of the moment. There are people I have known for a short time but we feel like close kins and even share many intimate things.
I do have regrets in life, but I can look at those regrets and smile, knowing I have learnt something from it and reinforcing me in a sense that the next time I make a decision, I will make sure I choose the one I want and have no regrets whatsoever.
You choose the type of company you want, you decide whether is it worth keeping going into it or ending it. No one can seduce your decision otherwise and no matter how good other people's words are to you, in the end you make the choice because it is your life.
Something to share...
I have gave a present to my younger brother some time ago on his birthday. He was very surprised and very happy because I have never gave him any in the past. This is the first one and the first of many to come.
When I looked at him wearing a big smile upon receiving the music CD from me, I felt a warmth in my heart.
This is a joy and I want to share this joy with all of you reading this.
When was the last time you gave a gift to someone? How did you felt that time when you saw the smile on that person's face upon receiving it from you? Have you failed to give a gift to someone? Have you ever thought of not giving to someone whom you deemed not worthy to receive?
A gift to someone may not be something you buy. It can be spending quality time, giving a hug, a pat on the back, listening to them, having a simple chat. Whatever it is, its you being there with them that matters the most. You may not notice but people appreciate when we take time to look for them and be there.
Have you kissed your mum? Hug your dad? Pat your brother or boy friends? Hold hands with your sister or girl friends? Its simple and small, even embarrassing to a certain point, but they can feel the love coming from you. They will smile back, you can feel the warmth in you and them. Don't you want some love? Find them! Talk to them! Keep them company! Its not some mammoth task, but it can certainly make your day.
Being in quarrels? Fell out with someone? Ignored a person or being ignored? Get rid of all those! Call them! Sms them! Msn them! Take the first step, apologise on your part and they will reciprocate. Even if they do not respond, at least you tried. There will be another time to do it again.
Am I being too optimistic? Yes I think so, but don't you think the human world is too realistic and too sad? We need a little optimism from each and everyone of us to make our day or someone's day. There is no harm in being optimistic or happy. Infact everybody will be delighted if you can show that all around.
Go on, do it!
When I looked at him wearing a big smile upon receiving the music CD from me, I felt a warmth in my heart.
This is a joy and I want to share this joy with all of you reading this.
When was the last time you gave a gift to someone? How did you felt that time when you saw the smile on that person's face upon receiving it from you? Have you failed to give a gift to someone? Have you ever thought of not giving to someone whom you deemed not worthy to receive?
A gift to someone may not be something you buy. It can be spending quality time, giving a hug, a pat on the back, listening to them, having a simple chat. Whatever it is, its you being there with them that matters the most. You may not notice but people appreciate when we take time to look for them and be there.
Have you kissed your mum? Hug your dad? Pat your brother or boy friends? Hold hands with your sister or girl friends? Its simple and small, even embarrassing to a certain point, but they can feel the love coming from you. They will smile back, you can feel the warmth in you and them. Don't you want some love? Find them! Talk to them! Keep them company! Its not some mammoth task, but it can certainly make your day.
Being in quarrels? Fell out with someone? Ignored a person or being ignored? Get rid of all those! Call them! Sms them! Msn them! Take the first step, apologise on your part and they will reciprocate. Even if they do not respond, at least you tried. There will be another time to do it again.
Am I being too optimistic? Yes I think so, but don't you think the human world is too realistic and too sad? We need a little optimism from each and everyone of us to make our day or someone's day. There is no harm in being optimistic or happy. Infact everybody will be delighted if you can show that all around.
Go on, do it!
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