Anger. What is anger? Is anger a necessary emotion? Can anger helps the person? How does anger harms the person?
It has been a long time since I last posted in here. Right now I am feeling blank about what to pen down. Why am I using this issue 'anger' as the topic for this post? I guess it is to serve as a reminder of what I am capable of... What I fear I am capable of...
Anger is another inborn emotion that is with us ever since we were conceived. When we do not get what we want, we are angry. When someone offends us, we are angry. When we cannot agree on mutual terms, we are angry. Getting angry seems so easy, but lets not forget if left unchecked it can cause unimaginable destruction in its path.
In the past I get angry easily. Its just an expression to show how I feel, how I react, how I vent out. Nowadays I am more solemn or rather do not possess the fiery vigor of youth. However I do know I still have that huge fire in me should I blow up. It may be a short while but its definately not desirable from my point of view.
A few days ago, it happened. Even if I do not like it, I chose not to deal with it in the best way possible. My brother was doing things despite my adamant statements not to do it. Bit by bit, the anger ate into me. I could tolerate it for quite a while but his refusal to comply kept coming like waves after waves that build up & finally I could not contain the anger & I released it out the worst possible way I knew. I screamed at him.
In my life I never screamed at my brother the way I did. He was shocked and my mum was not happy as well. I did not explain anything to my mum because I still let my anger control my rational thinking. After a while I cooled down & I felt bad. I felt horrible. I have hurt my brother, upset my mother and worse: I knew more about myself in this manner.
I apologised to my brother and asked for his forgiveness. He forgave me, but I could not forgive myself. I fear all the more when will I blow again. I fear I will one day hurt the people I loved. I fear I will once again give in to anger in the worst way possible.
Is anger something necessary? Why do we need anger when all it does is cloud our judgement most of the time, make our faces red, grow more wrinkles, raise body temperature and others? Ever wonder why steam gushes out when you are boiling water? In scientific terms its a change of state from liquid to gas. The same could be applied to anger (in a way): All the pent up unaddressed issues, suppressed emotions, indignant receivings will transform into violent, exploding reaction. No way to make them disappear that simply.
At times I wonder why God created this emotion called 'anger'. Anger has to be expressed and expressed correctly. Giving in to anger blindly can only cause hurt, hatred and regret. Yet so many people, myself included, has difficulty handling anger correctly.
How does anger helps a person? Is that even possible? I am still searching for an answer regarding this. I know the Bible mention something with regards to this, but I forgot where it is...
We all know how anger can harm a person, be it the angry one or the one being targetted. It hurts the person's pride. It bites at the memory. It scares the mind. It tears at the relationship. It bring out the worst possible character in the person and so much more. All these are possible if anger is not managed well.
I am not happy with this anger of mine, but I do know God revealed it to me for a reason. To make me more aware of this and in the future to learn how to manage it better. Why I say manage? Because control over anger is virtually impossible. Control over any emotion, from what I learnt is not the best way of accounting to oneself. Awareness of anger, management of the emotion, submission of contempt to God. This is what I can do and this is what I will do should this happen again because I know what I am capable of...
